It is a sunny spring day and i have the cold from hell...this sucks! Oh well at least the sun has finally decided to come out...

I watched Catch and Release the other night. I love that movie! One of my favorits...ever since then though I have been a bit obsessed to Boulder Colorado, I am thinking of going there this summer and checking it out. Looks like a nice place.

Anyone been there? Live there?? Feed back on it would be great!

ok I know it's been forever and a day, but my life right now is a bit hard to wra your head around and is busy as ever! Things are ok...just crazy...I am planning on doing a better job blogging though. It's a goal. We shall see.

Sometimes I feel like the walls are closing in around me and nothing I do can stop them. It’s a scary feeling. It’s been a hard few months. I feel like I am sad all the time and I am so sick of being sad I could scream! But just when it feels like maybe it’s getting better life comes along and knocks me on my ass again. All I want to do is curl up in bed, sleep and cry. But of course I can’t do that. I don’t have time to fall apart. God knows I can’t allow myself to actually cry because if I do then I fear I won’t be able to stop. That being the case…My solution? Have a glass of wine and BREATHE. Because that’s about all I can do right now. That, and pray things work out ok in the end. What’s that saying I used to love? “Everything will be ok in the end, because if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.” Seems a bit far fetched right about now. I think I am leaning more towards the saying, “How will it end? I don’t know. It’s a mystery.” Only this time I am banking on the mystery unraveling soon because if it doesn’t I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t think there is enough wine in the world to keep me going like this forever. I long for the simpler times. The times when all you had to worry about was if there was going to be another snow day or not. Not even bothering to think far enough ahead to realize that if there is another one it cuts into your summer vacation. That didn’t matter. You just lived for now. I miss that. But if I lived for my now then I would go ahead and allow myself to cry while I drank wine and went to sleep for a year. What do you do when you have done everything you know of to do and it’s still not working???

Does anyone else CRAVE the smell of summer? You know what I’m talking about? That combination of cut grass, mixed with rain and heat, the smell of sunscreen where ever you go, and if you stand still and breathe deep, you can smell the faintest trail of chlorine. The way you skin smells after you have been in the sun for a while, the smell of flowers and trees finally coming to life once again. The smell of berries ripening on the vine, you can even smell the ice that people put in their coolers. God I love those smells! I crave them all year and the first day I actually get to smell them I get happy all over. Silly huh? I also wait all year to hear the sounds of summer. The ice cream truck, kids playing out side, bikes clanging down the street, and ball hitting the pavement over and over. The sound of water splashing, and roller skate or roller blade wheels on the side walk. Hoses spraying the car or kids, or watering your plants, fans running in the house. Laughter. You hear more laughter in the summer then any other time of the year. The sound of Hotel California blasting out of your stereo, you can’t NOT listen to that song in the summer. The sound of Ice in your glass. Doesn’t matter what it’s a glass of, there is ice in it.  God I love summer!!! Nothing else can compare to it!